The Butterfly Project: February 2016

It is no longer Guinness news that recent times have seen more sexually aware and forward young people than history has recorded. But the most interesting aspect of this breakout would be about the young women.

In the past, a lot of awkwardness was placed on women who discussed or stayed in gatherings where the issue of their sexuality was discussed. Women who openly acknowledged their sexuality or encouraged others to do so were seen as wayward and shunned or shamed publicly, and the scale for morality or immorality was heavily built around a woman’s ability to keep mum and ignore the ‘taboo subject’. But as time flew past, more women began to take more control of their bodies and openly discussed issues relating to sex and their emotional health; from small circle of friends to podiums at conferences, the talk was all over and sexual revolution had begun.

In the light of all the seemingly unending dramas and the unveiling of a topic so shrouded by culture and religion especially in the African setting, it became necessary to talk to young women within the explorative stages of their sexuality, on the need to embrace who they are, and the importance of having the right to make a decision to practice abstinence and be free from judgement or labelling.

The butterfly project this time centred its activities on the young women in government secondary school, Enugu and addressed the issue of sex and self esteem, and how pre marital sex can affect their general well being as young people. The talk was built around abstinence which is increasingly becoming an unpopular idea, as most talks in recent times are gradually shifting focus from abstinence measures to protective measures, citing the ineffectiveness of abstinence only talks among young people.

At the start of the meeting, the teenagers were asked to identify words that came to mind when sex was mentioned. Some of the words that came up were intimacy, responsibility, divinity, exclusiveness. It became more obvious that it was no new talk and the curiosity to see what they knew about the subject further increased. It was an interesting and eye opening moment as well to see how much they were willing to say about the issue.

Next, the class was split into groups after the abstinence talk and each group was asked to identify reasons why they would choose not to indulge in premarital sex. They gave reasons such as religion, unwanted pregnancy, family honour etc. It was at this stage that our earlier fears had been confirmed. It became evident that abstinence was practiced more out of fear, religion, or some other underlying external reason and not from a strong personal perspective. The reason for the failure of abstinence only programs became clearer. It failed mostly because it was heavily consequence focused, citing shame, pregnancy, STIs, etc as reasons to abstain thereby creating panic in their minds rather than helping them make a decision to abstain based on positive values, discipline, and an overall sense of self worth, and just like every other psychological cycle, more young people are breaking free and beginning to view such reasons as manipulative and oppressive to their sexuality.

See the gallery for photos of our shared moments.